I abandoned LiveJournal a little bit when I discovered Tumblr. But as of now I need something to do, so.. Here

I've gained weight.. Surprise.
Fuck me........

I'm so irritable.. But I'm going to my boyfriend's.

These pants were like, so baggy on me before.. And now .. I had trouble fuckin doing them up.

I had good luck yesterday with my laptop.

Installing my cs3 suite on the new - new laptop was going well until it wasn't reading the 4th disc.
Of course.
So back to using a trial until I hopefully find a solution.

This day is honestly making me want to kill myself.

Nothing is working properly. Absolutely nothing.

At school, that is. Everything else I'm feeling okay - as of now.

I've got 60s in 3 of my classes. My art isp got crushed/torn (literally) and I've barely started my final in civics.
I fucking hate math and that teacher so much.
Plus, I've never really had to be concerned about failing a class before either. I mean, excluding the whole ordeal from September-February of last year.

I'm taking a doubletake on whether or not I want to do that weekend university art course thing. With my luck I'll get turned down because even though I am taking the grade eleven, I'm still grade ten.

I got my semi dress but it still won't hurt at all to loose more weight.

I don't want to touch my homework. I just want to do my photos or something. I'd say I'll be glad when this semester is over, but that's a lie. Because then I have 2 more gr 9 classes.

This is a pretty pleasant post.

There's nothing eventful.

The past couple weeks I've been observing myself.
I've come to the realization that I'm not original, I'm not different.
That's disappointing, and I know this is an oxymoron, but I wish I was original..

But I am in a generally good mood. I'm not irritable, but I am choosing to probably give up on some people.

Last night I had the worst stomach bug I've had in over a year, at least. Of course I wasn't eating anything so from 7:30 am on Friday to almost 1:00 am Saturday, I was throwing up LITERALLY every 20 minutes or so. But of course it was just foamy bile.

I ate today and I'm sitting here now, sort of on edge, because my stomach is upset and I'm afraid I'm going to relapse. I definitely hit the stage where I wanted to kill myself around noon, and by 4:00 pm I was afraid it was never going to go away/it was never going to fade. But I'm no where near where I was this time yesterday.

But I got a lovely haul on Christmas gifts. 8gig memory card for my dslr, stuffed Yoshi toy, new straightener, mirror, gift cards, spore, wall-e, etc etc etc.

I woke up this morning with stomach pains. They're okay now, it just more feels like I'm going to throw up.

Also, I forgot the ~holiday season is now over. It seems to have come really quickly? It sucks that I'm reaching the point where it doesn't make me feel the way it used to. But we're getting our dinner/gifts tonight, so I still get to stretch it out for a day.

I want to start making photography prints of my own. But I need a bigger memory card. Plus that would require having to revamp my bedroom a little bit. I think I can risk taking down some old weatherstained magazine cutouts of Gerard.

I wrote in my journal last night too - the real one. Basically I just need to work on my boyfriend's gift, do laundry, and clean my room.

Bye bye Holidays 2008.

This feels like another day for me. Except I'm forcing myself to finish cleaning by noon. Then I'm hoping that I won't be ruining any plans and that I will be going to my boyfriends. I kind of don't want to be alone today. Then I was expecting a phonecall from a friend, but I don't expect him to remember and I don't think he'd have a convenient time. Spelling convenient is too hard for me, also.

Speaking of which - when I was on the homepage I saw that someone he had sent a request to a while ago had finally accepted it this morning. I really hope that means a lot to him since he had lost all hope already and was really disappointed.

My mouth kind of tastes crummy. But I don't know what I want to make for breakfast.

I want this day to just be over with! Though, after today snow seems pointless to me. It's all slushy outside, but it's a lot more snow than we've had the past couple years.

I thought maybe, just maybe, I had been making some personal progress.. On an eating disorder, on self harm, and on general outlook. But apparently the first two aren't relevant - but I still take everything too personally. I'm still territorial, and I'm still insecure. I don't know how much I can help myself with that though. Having someone say that isn't like a revelation either. Even if it is the person I'm closest too. I'm not as insulted as I thought I would normally be.. But I mean honestly? I never admit to myself that I've improved even the tiniest bit. But the time I do, apparently it hasn't happened and it's not good enough. Writing this out isn't exactly making me feel better, it's a little worse. Then again I'm alone right now, that normally makes everything worse. I felt nice before so I don't think it's that big of an issue.. But I do know I need a different outlook.. That'd be nice for Christmas. New mindset and social life, please? An ability to trust would be a nice stocking stuffer..

This is a super pleasant thing for Christmas Eve. Fuck. I know this isn't personal or private, but I don't have my LiveJournal posted anywhere anyway, as far as I know. Oh well.. I can kind of understand why people blog. Something to do? Even though no one cares.

Also, it's kind of sucky that some of my photos from this past week turned out really noisy. I have the originals so at least I can manipulate them.

I still use LJ, obviously I just don't post anymore. I used to use this for graphics but I don't really have a purpose for it anymore. The last time I actually posted something on Livejournal was INO secrets - and that got me banned.

It will probably get easier to use this as I post more.
I kind of hate the set up for the friends page though. Though, I'm easily confused. So that's not a surprise.

I got my Canon Rebel xsi last month. It's absolutely stunning. I love it. Today actually, Christmas Eve, I need to get some more of my stuff on the computer. Though technically this isn't Christmas eve for me since we're not doing Christmas until Friday.

My life sounds so generic. D; Awful.

32 My Chemical Romance related.
4 Fall Out Boy Related.
8 Christmas stock.


Teasers


( danse macabre. )

4 Bob Bryar.
4 Gerard Way.
4 Frank Iero.

Teasers


( murder scene. )

27 My Chemical Romance.
12 Fall Out Boy.
4 Death Cab For Cutie.
4 Random.

Teasers.


( broken city sky. )